So for those that didn't know, My mom passed away Monday afternoon from a blood clot that hit her heart. It was a quick an unexpected death. I am so glad it was quick though and she didn't have to go thru chemo or radiation. It is still hard to accept the fact that I can't see her when I want, nor can I call her when I need to vent.
This whole week has been such a blur but it has been incredible! We have had all the family together and have been able to enjoy each others company. It has been so neat having everyone together.
Yesterday morning we all got together and dressed my mom. I was so afraid to see her but dressing her was the neatest thing. It was like therapy. We could all feel my moms spirit in the room so strong. I am so thankful I got to do it.
Last night we had a viewing. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I was able to see her in the coffin and be ok with it. I am glad there was such a good spirit in the room. It was sad but there was a lot of happiness and it was nice to talk to everyone. I have a feeling the funeral is going to be different though. I am also glad that before everyone arrived Jenny and I were able to sing Primary songs at the piano and harmonize like we always did growing up. My mom loved hearing us sing so I am so glad we got to sing for her one more time.
It still doesn't feel like reality to me. I don't know when its going to be reality for me. I know it's going to hit me hard... I just don't know when. I already miss her. I wish I could give her one final hug. It also kills me that she wont be there for when I have kids. I wanted so bad for her to be around for that. I just feel too young to have lost my mother already. There is still so much I need her for. I just have to accept that she was needed on the other side.
I am glad she is with her dad. That had to have been such an incredible reunion getting to be with her dad and meet her brother Ronnie for the first time who had died a few hours after being born. I know she is happy and not in pain anymore. I am happy for her... I am just sad for those of us left behind that have to try to fill the void left behind from such an incredible person!
3 comments:
I am so sorry Missy. Losing a parent is very hard, especially a Mom. I know she will be there watching over you and your little family.
Isn't it awesome that you can see her again though, and I'm sure she is helping prepare your children for you and playing with them as much as she can before they get to come down to you.
I know it is going to be hard, but just remember those things and it will help you. Just be glad you have older sisters too. I don't know what I would do, I basically have no other fam. but my parents.
If you need anything, let me know.
I'm so sorry about your loss. I'm glad you have all your family to support you, family is the best. Let me know if you need anything.
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