IVF Consultation

We had our IVF Consultation today. It was just a phone consultation since the Dr is in California. It was nice chatting with him and he seems like a very nice guy. I am excited but nervous at the same time, but we are really doing this. We have some things to do to get ready for IVF, so the actual IVF wont be until November/December. Still I am excited to think that I could be pregnant by the end of this year.

So I gave in, I am going back on Metformin. I hate that stuff! It makes me so incredibly sick! I have resisted doing it but I am finally to the point where I am resigned to whatever torture I have to go through to have a child. So Metformin it is. I am going to start it tomorrow night which means I will spend the weekend sick. They are going to start me out at 500 mg and I will work my way up to 1500 mg. I honestly have bad memories of the last time I was on it. I constantly felt sick to my stomach and I threw up a few times. They are estimating that in about 6-8 weeks I should have built up my dosage and been over feeling sick. So I guess we will see.

I know this sounds very counter productive, but I am going on birth control for two months. They have to regulate my cycles so that will do it for them. So last time I was on birth control, that stuff also made me sick. So I get a double whammy from metformin and birth control at the same time. It is going to be an awesome couple of months.

The Dr also went over when we get to the stimulation stage and I get to stab myself with needles every day. I am not looking forward to that either. I have watched enough you tube videos and read enough horror stories to give me nightmares for the next few months. I keep trying to tell myself it wont be as bad as it sounds. Pretty much the entire procedure and all the stuff leading up to it is really going to suck, but if this is what it will take for a baby... then so be it!

It also sounds like they will be doing ICSI which is a bit more expensive. I wont go into detail and gross everyone out as to what exactly they do for ICSI, but lets just say Mikes stuff and my egg are being forced together whether they like it or not!

Anyways I am super nervous about this all but I guess I have time before the actual procedure. I just have to survive a month of being sick from metformin, and then a few weeks of self injections, and a needle being shoved thru my vaginal wall to retrieve eggs... but eventually I have hope that all of this will lead to a baby. If not a baby right at first, I am hoping for some extra embryos to freeze so attempt two wont be as bad and expensive.

Anyways, wish me luck!!

Fish Pond

I have been hesitant to blog about my fish pond yet because It is still not done. In fact we might end up pulling out the liner (Due to an irritating leak) and replace it with the plastic liner. As it sits right now we just need to do some more landscaping around it, but that will wait until we decide if we want to replace the liner now or later.

Anyways this is the before picture. There are lots of weeds but this ugly ground cover stuff that has always bothered me. Plus it is starting to grow into the lawn so Mike was fine with it being uprooted.
This is after I cleared out all the weeds and ground cover. There are some cool flower things that i didn't want to lose so I tried to build the pond without disturbing them. They may have gotten torn up a little bit but I have faith they will make a full recovery and be back next spring.

This is the liner and waterfall we bought. We decided to start with the preformed liner simply because it was cheaper to buy a used one on KSL. It has worked ok, minus a few leaks but it will work until we have more money to spend on the other liner. We ended up not even using the waterfall section because it just looked too cheesy and there was really no way to make it look natural. So Mike purchased a plastic barrel from his work we decided to have water pouring out of. It gives it more of a modern look I think. I eventually want an all natural look, but that may have to wait.

And here is the (almost) finished project. The picture quality is crappy because I took it on my cell phone. I have a few pond plants in there including water lilies.... and even put goldfish in. I bought the cheapo feeder fish to begin with since I wasn't sure how good I would be at keeping fish alive. So far we have lost half of the fish... and have one to 2 casualties a day. So that kinda sucks. I need to test the pH levels in the water and see if that might be what is causing problems. Plus they don't seem interested in their food pellets so I might look at a different fish food. I still have lots to figure out, but It is still fun being able to sit and watch the fish and listen to the water cascade down.

Bucket List

So I think I mentioned in a previous post about writing a bucket list. I finally saw the movie and really liked it. Anyways I sat down and started to think of the things that I would put on my bucket list. I came up with places I would love to travel to like Alaska, Scotland, and the concentration camps in Poland (namely Auswitz.. although I am sure I misspelled that). I even came up with some things like get either my palm read, tarot cards read, or talk to a psychic... purely because that would just be a fun experience. Not so much because I would believe them. I also thought it would be neat to go visit Alcatraz again but this time do their night time tour. That place is creepy enough in the day time, but I can only imagine how awesome it would be at night.

As I am trying to think of things, I just kept going back to the whole baby thing. I know that a lot of this would be put on hold, or would potentially never happen if I had a baby, but I realized that I am perfectly fine with that. In fact I struggled to think of things to do when the top thing I want in my life is a child. That trumps everything! Mike and I have talked about how things would be different if we had a child... like no more eating out, and we wouldn't be able to travel and go on so many vacations... but we are ok with that. We had 5 years together to play, and now it is time to settle down. I honestly don't mind trading some of the things on my bucket list for a child.

I can't remember if I posted about Mike and I deciding to do In-Vitro. I am to the point where if we are going to do it, I just want to do it. So we just scheduled the consultation today. It will be next Thursday. It will be a phone consultation since the Dr is in LA. He does travel to Utah every other month. So the consultation is scheduled, and I even went ahead and paid the consultation fee (which wasn't cheap). I am really excited. I am also really scared. I want so badly for this to work for us. I keep thinking that by Christmas, I might have a little life growing inside of me. Next year I could have a baby.

I feel like things are finally starting to get going again with the infertility stuff. I know the next few months will be stressful and super scary, but I am ready for it. I know there will be tons of injections I will have to give myself (or Mike will probably have to give me since I don't think I could stab myself with a needle), and there will be tons of ultrasounds, and a lot of uncomfortable moments... but it is the price I am ready to pay to get my top bucket list item. We are jumping into the infertility world with both feet, wish us luck!

I love being paid to paint!

My sister-in-law Holly managed to find me some business. She had showed her coworker a picture of the rock I did of their dog, and the coworker decided she wanted a rock painted to give to her mom. She sent me some pictures of a dog she had so I attempted to paint one to look like it. The 2nd picture has the rock sitting beside the pictures I had of the dog. Anyways this is how it turned out. Not too shabby! I think I am getting better at this. Plus I am starting to stray away from my rock painting books. I will only refer to them for ideas on eyes and stuff like that. I am getting a good idea on how to paint my own type of animals and such.. so it is fun.

On this rock I wasn't in the mood to do it, but once I sat down and started painting... I really enjoyed it. I honestly think it can be so relaxing.. even though I usually have to force myself to sit down and do it. So it's a good hobby. Seriously if anyone wants me to paint a rock for me, let me know. sadly I can't remember the price I agreed to on this one ( I haven't gotten paid yet) but I think it was between $30-$35. I am always willing to negotiate, plus the cost would depend on the size of rock as well. So if anyone is interested, let me know!

Been a crazy weekend!

I have a lot of blogging to do. I haven't blogged in awhile and there is a lot to blog about. So I will give a quick run down... and hopefully I will have time to fill in the gaps later.

So I had a friend/previous coworker pass away from cancer at age 23. He found out he had cancer a month ago, and is already gone. They took him off life support on Monday and had the funeral on Friday, and the graveside and burial on Saturday. I only went to the Friday deal. It was sad. It ended up being like a 4 hour deal. Then a bunch of people I use to work with went to the Olive Garden afterwards since Noel always liked going there. It was nice being able to catch up with people again, but I wish it had been under better circumstances. Noel was a great guy and will be missed by many. He was so positive about everything, even up to the end.

So I just got the movie "The Bucket List" from netflix. I decided I haven't seen it yet, so now would be a good time. I honestly think I need to make a bucket list. I have no idea how long I may be around, so I want to live my life to the fullest. So one of the posts I want to do (after I watch the movie and get some inspiration) will be my own little bucket list. I already know a few things already that I want to put on there. One of them I am working on right now... which leads me to my next subject.... the fish pond.

So I finally caved and bought a pond and waterfall. I have been dreaming of a fish pond for years and years and years.... and always told myself I would have one someday. Mike has never been keen on the idea but I think he finally got fed up hearing me talk about it... so he didn't put up a fuss when I bought the stuff. We had gone and been quoted at a garden place that it would cost like $2,000 for a pond. So that inspired me to go to KSL where I was able to buy a decent sized pond for $60. So I spent a good portion of the morning digging. I even did some digging this evening when it cooled down. I still have not gotten the hole big enough. I have the pump and everything we need to make the waterfall work. I am excited! I have some big plans for this pond!

Other then that, a lot has been going on. Yesterday morning Mike, my Dad, and I went for a 10 mile bike ride on the parkway. It was so much fun! I really enjoyed it, although my butt is sore now from the bike seat. Linda also threw her annual Luau which we went to last night. It was nice seeing people I haven't seen in forever!

Today we actually were able to go over to the Sterner BBQ. It was interesting seeing people I haven't seen since I was like 12. We are raking in the BBQ's this year. We have another one tomorrow night that my coworker is throwing. Tuesday is a potluck with the Resolve infertility support group that I will start attending as of the 18th. I am super excited!

So all in all... a lot has been going on lately... and I have a lot that I still need to blog about one of these days when I have time, which will probably be after the fish pond is in, and I am done painting the rocks I am being paid to paint. at least I am not going nuts with boredom this weekend like I usually do.