Rejection

What do you do when you are stuck in the worst job in the world? I have applied for so many other positions and only get rejected. I have even applied for jobs where I would take a paycut and still didn't get hired. Pretty pathetic when you are desperate enough to take a position you are more than qualified for but still get rejected. This last job I applied for I really wanted. I tried not to get my hopes up but I couldn't help myself. It was my only escape from the job I so detest. That escape is gone. I am out of options. It is so hard going to a job every day that I hate. I am just so tired of dealing with peoples problems. I need time to deal with my own.

I am just all around tired. Mentally, physically.. any way possible. I feel like I have been getting so much rejection lately that it is hard not to take it personally. I am sorry this is such a downer post. I am not looking for sympathy, I just want to be able to vent. I had three weeks of waiting and wondering if I got this job after going thru an interview that went so well, or so I thought. Three weeks to sit and worry and hope that I had truly found an escape. This was a job I really wanted, not only as an escape, but because it was going in the direction I want to go in a career.

Then to top it all off... I didn't ovulate this time. I took the clomid and went thru the mood swings for nothing. So no baby this month. With how my body works.... I wont get another chance at clomid for another 3 months. Part of me is relieved that I don't have to go thru the pregnancy test rollercoaster though. It still sucks knowing I didn't ovulate. I hate the thought of how expensive this is all going to get. Every day at work I get to hear women complain about their maternity bill. They don't realize how lucky they are. I would love to have a maternity bill to pay. It is much cheaper than what Mike and I are looking at to get pregnant in the first place.

Ugh! I really don't mean to be so negative. I just need to get over the shock of the rejection and have a chance to look on the brighter side of things. Like I said, this is not a post looking for sympathy. It is just a venting post. It is nice to get things out in the open. Mike is taking me out to dinner to cheer me up. Lets hope it works!