I thought today was going to be a good day when first thing at work I found out I was getting $120 bonus. It sure didn't take long for things to go downhill though. I finally got the results from Mikes test. It is not looking good for us. No only do I have massive problems... but Mike has problems as well. So there are currently three strikes against us in the area of reproduction. I had a good cry about it this morning when I realized that there is a good chance we may not ever have kids... without spending thousands and thousands of Dollars. Maybe someday we will spend that... but its hard to swallow.
On the positive side... the Dr reviewed my Hysterosalpingogram. He wasn't too worried about it. The radiologist had me totally freaked out but the Dr said things weren't that bad. There is just extra tissue my body hasn't ever flushed out. So they called in a prescription for more Promoetrium to help get rid of that lining. They want me to start taking that ASAP and then in two months we will do another test to see if the extra lining got flushed out.
An interesting thing happened when I went to pick up my prescription at the pharmacy. First off the pharmacy didn't listen to their messages so they didn't have my prescription ready. They were close to closing for the night but said they would rush it. Well about a half hour later they told me they couldn't get it because my insurance refused to pay for it. They said something in regards to they wont pay because I am under 40 years old. Pretty interesting since this is not the first time I tried prometrium. The insurance covered it last month no problem. So I left empty handed. Looks like I get the fun job of calling my insurance tomorrow to find out why I now have to be 40 to get this medication. I really am not looking forward to taking this medication anyways... I hate the way it makes me feel. Oh well... if it will up my chances for a baby.
I don't mean to make my blog so negative now. Right now, this is what the focus of my life is...trying to figure out how to get pregnant. I try so hard not to be bitter but its hard to understand how teenagers can get pregnant so easy but I can't. Why do I have to have so many problems? Why cant I just be like everyone else and get pregnant right off the bat? I am just getting really discouraged. If by chance Mike and I ever do get pregnant... it doesn't sound like it will happen any time soon.
Once again.... I have to apologize the few readers I have. I don't mean to be so negative. I am just very frustrated right now. It is hard hearing the news that your odds of having a baby are slim to none. I knew I had problems and would take work to get pregnant... but its hard to find out Mike also has problems. We were both shocked to find that out. I guess we will just have to see if God wants to bless us with a child now or in the future. I am trying to keep up hope but my hope is fast dwindling. I kind of feel like a failure. Oh well.
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12 years ago
3 comments:
I am so sorry. Don't feel bad about the downer post. I think it helps people when you write about your trials. I always feel like everyone around me has it so great and that I'm alone in my suffering but more and more I am seeing that there are a lot of people struggling. I don't know exactly what it feels like to be in your shoes but I can relate a little. We have been trying for about a year and a half. I never imagined how hard it would be and how your arms ache for that little one. I know we haven't talked forever but I love you and I will be praying for you. Who knows maybe your angel will come to you in a way you don't expect.
I'm terribly sorry about your bad news :( You guys are in my prayers!
If there was one lesson I learned in all my bitterness is that it just wasn't the right time. If I would have had Hailey when I wanted her I would not have been able to afford her or anything else. I know it's hard and I know your pain, and I had the same feelings you did. Do not feel bad about that, it's normal and you will make it through this. Even if a child comes to you in different circumstances under different conditions. You know I'm here for ya, and like I have said it will be hard.
As a side note they had told us at first that Kory had a low count and that our odds were slim.
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