After the last Infertility support group I went to, I was told that during the whole IVF stuff, I am really going to need and want someone to take care of me. Especially after the Egg Retrieval. I have been told that I probably won't really be able to walk very far for a couple of days afterwards. It was suggested that if there are any friends or family that would be willing to bring food or just help out, that it would be good to get that all lined up. It made me sit and think about it. I honestly don't know who I would even feel comfortable asking for help. It also makes me sad because I know there is nothing I would love more than for my mom to come take care of me for a few days. I know that if she were still here, she would do it in a heartbeat.
I am really trying to keep the whole infertility things separate from mourning my mom, but it is hard. In my mind it goes hand in hand. I feel like everyone is so busy in their own lives and It hurts that no one in my family can take the time to call me and ask how I am doing during all this craziness. I realize that my family is uncomfortable with the conversation and with the whole topic, and I would probably be the same way if I was talking to someone about an uncomfortable topic that I could not relate to. It just makes it hard though. I find myself thinking that if my mom were still here… she would be calling me to check up on me and just ask how I am feeling. I feel like now is a time that I could really use my mom. It makes it extremely scary facing IVF without her there to support me and tell me that it is all going to be fine.
It scares me thinking that I may be so vulnerable and may really need some help during the IVF stuff. Mike already said he will take care of dinner after the egg retrieval and transfer, which will be great. I just wonder how it will be during the day when he is at work. I also have no idea how bad it really is going to be. Maybe I will be just fine, or maybe it will be as bad as I have been told it is. Maybe I will need someone to help me with meals. Maybe I will need someone to help keep me occupied and keep my mind off any pain associated with the procedure. I also know that it will be high stress in the days between the egg retrieval and transfer, as well as during the Two Week Wait. I have to find some way to entertain myself and keep myself from sitting and stressing about it all. It all just sounds so overwhelming to me.
My dad has been great. I know he is very uncomfortable with the infertility topic and doesn't really know what to say, but at least he tries. I asked if he would possibly be willing to be in town during all the IVF stuff since I will have Dr Appointments in Provo every other day for a couple weeks. Mike will not be able to get that much time off work so I will need someone to drive me to my appointments. My dad said he is more than willing to help out. It will be a big stress relief having someone else take me to appointments versus me trying to drive to Provo on my own in the snow. I am sure my dad will also be willing to help out in any way he can. I know it won't be the same as having my mom with me, but I am glad I still have my dad in my life. I don't know what I would do without him.
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