A Year for Me (and of course Mike)!

We just had the consultation with the doctor to go over the failed IVF round. They went in planning on my body to respond to the meds like normal PCOS patients, but apparently my body doesn't follow those rules. It does its own thing altogether!  So next round they want to do using only Clomid and Menopur... which means a lot less  needles... but a lot more psychotic moments. Clomid really makes me psychotic.  Plus they will also give me a discount on a 2nd attempt. The doctor said everything looked great and hormone levels were great for implantation to occur. It just didn't.  Anyways he offered a discount for a 2nd attempt but financially we are not to the point of being able to afford another attempt. Plus we both emotionally need the break.

So I have decided that this year is a year for me. I gave the doctors full control of my body and pumped it full of crazy meds and hormones. I am taking back control of my body. I have almost been obsessive lately about eating right and exercising.  I am not going to really focus on weight loss per say... but just getting healthy foods in my body and getting rid of all the meds and crazy hormones. I figure if I lose weight.. then that will just be an added bonus. Plus I am not going to take any unnecessary meds and will just let my body do whatever it wants in the reproductive arena.  I just want to give my poor body a break and nurse it back to  health. Doing IVF really takes a toll emotionally and physically... and of course financially. So I want to be in a better place emotionally and I don't feel like I can do that if I am constantly thinking and fretting over infertility. So as of today infertility is going on the back burner.

My goals for this year is to get healthy. I am starting that by working out when I can. I actually am starting to go to work early in the mornings and work out in the gym in the building. It is nice! No one is there in the mornings so I have the whole gym to myself. Then I just shower and walk upstairs to and go to work. Its great!  I am also starting a 7 day juice detox tomorrow. I want to flush out any remnants of crazy hormones or meds.  then I just plan on eating healthy and just trying to get out and exercise when I can. I am not planning on getting back into running though. It really is not my cup of tea. I want to do a variety of activities instead of just running morning after morning. I will leave the running to Mike.

I also want to have fun. I told Mike every weekend we have to do at least one extra curricular activity together... whether it be camping in the summer.. or hitting the Jordan River Parkway, or even mountain biking. I just want to be more active. I also hope to get some awesome vacations in there which will start with the Tuacahn Car show in April. I am still hoping my car will be done in time for that. Especially since I just registered for it.

I am not going to let this be a bummer year. I am really going to focus on me and on Mike and just enjoying our freedom. Maybe next year we will try IVF again, but until then, it won't even be anything I will think about. So from this point on... life will be all about Mike and I and just having fun.