Security

To lose someone close to you, changes you. It divides you from most people in the world. You become part of a smaller group of people who have also had their perspective of the world changed. You start to think of life differently, and you are no longer blind to the reality of death. You can no longer think that it will never happen to you. You know that it could very well happen to you or a loved one at any time. It makes you appreciate what you have, and want to live your life better; but it also sometimes makes you paranoid.

It was interesting here at work today. I guess it made me realized how divided I am from most people my age. We got on the topic of life insurance. We just had the option to elect to receive an additional Life Insurance policy on top of the one already offered. I was quick to jump on that because I figure what is $6 bucks out of every paycheck compared to the security I would leave behind for my family.

One coworker commented (in a joking way, but half serious way) that he doesn’t need life insurance because he doesn’t plan on dying any day soon. Obviously death is not real to him yet. It sparked a bit of a debate where I realized I was the only one involved who was taking advantage of the life insurance. No one else felt it was needed.

I know what it was like for my Dad to end up with $200,000 worth of medical bills after my mom died. Luckily I was able to make phone calls and get most of it taken care of for him. I don’t want that for my family. I don’t want Mike to be stuck with tons and tons of medical bills or debt from me. I also don’t want for him to lose the house in the midst of his grief because he no longer as my income going towards it. I would rather him not have that added stress, and be able to pay off a big chunk of the house, or be able to pay off my medical bills and pay the funeral costs out of money provided from me. I want to make sure that if I had to leave him, that I wouldn’t leave him with extra stress and worry than what he would already be dealing with. I want to know that he is ok.

Death is a hard thing to think about. It is hard to believe it could happen to you until you actually have it happen. It is hard to think of a loved one going away, but it is also hard to think of your family trying to fill the gap emotionally and financially without you there. I realize that they would never fully be able to fill the emotional gap, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t ensure they are able to fill the financial gap. Anything I can do to make things a little less difficult, I am determined to do. I want to know that they will be ok when I go. If it takes $6 out of every paycheck, so be it!