Another Surgery

It has been awhile since I last posted. I haven't been so good at it lately. Life has been crazy. It is crazy how life can be so great and so normal one minute and then one little thing can just turn your world upside down... or your world can come crashing down on you.

My mom had another surgery on Tuesday night. Her white blood count was back up and there was more fluid. The Dr went in and cleaned her out. As he was getting ready to close he found where bile was leaking out. He fixed that. We are hoping that was where all the fluid was coming from and that she wont have that problem anymore.

She ended up being in ICU for a few days. That was scary. She is doing better now and is in a normal room. I called and talked to her tonight. It made me cry. She doesn't sound good. They pump her full of tons of fluids and it makes her have a hard time breathing. It is hard talking to her on the phone because she has to catch her breath after every word she says. It makes me sad hearing her like that. I guess they also had a problem with a PICC line they had in her neck and now her neck is all swollen.

It is hard to be back at square one. Now she has to heal from yet another surgery. She is doing well in the recovery but she still has so far to go. She was in the hospital for two weeks after the first surgery so she will be in there for awhile yet. I feel bad because I know she hates it there. Its just hard.

Tomorrow we are doing a family Halloween party. It will be good to get together and just enjoy each other and be with family. I think it will help take our minds off of things. I am excited for it. I think it will be a ton of fun. I am also sad because my guest room will be empty. My parents were planning on coming and were going to stay in my guest room... but now they wont be here.

It is sad that it takes a crisis like this to make you realize what you had. I miss my mom. I miss her the way she was. She was always so bubbly and so fun to talk to and joke with. I just miss that. I want her to be back to normal. I want to be able to have those fun, light hearted conversations with her. I also want to be able to call her when I need help cooking something, and be able to vent to her when I am in my emotionally psychotic mode from the Clomid. I NEED my mom. I am so grateful that she is still here and that we still have time with her. I only hope her recovery will be speedy and we can get back to where we were.