I don't know why I do it...

I am going thru infertility stuff again. It sucks, and its hard. I basically was having health problems like I was having last year when I got really anemic and sick. I didn't want to be like that again, but I knew I was headed that direction. So I went to the Dr to see how to fix it and I had two options.... either birth control (which is obviously not something I would even consider at this point), or to do progesterone and clomid to regulate things.. So I am back on Clomid. I told myself I would never do Clomid again after the last time. It was horrible. They had me on way too high of a dosage. Plus it is very hard to handle Clomid without my mom to vent to. I feel like when I am on Clomid, is when I need her the most. It was hard to decide to try it again, but this time the Dr is pretty well letting me take control since I figured out my body works different than most, and therefore they were testing things on the wrong days. So we will see how it goes.

So I had a couple major breakdowns. I am sure there are still more to come. Clomid honestly makes me so crazy its not even funny. I really just pity Mike since he has to put up with me. He seems to handle me pretty well though. Anyways.... its hard. I was trying not to let myself get baby hungry, but I failed. I even went so far as to watch a film on Midwifery today which essentially made me super baby hungry. So yeah.... I don't know why I watch shows like that when I know its just going to make me cry.

On a better note... Mike ran the Park City marathon on Saturday. He ran it in 3:21 something. He got a PR for that course. Its always exciting to see him come across the finish line. I am so proud of him for all his accomplishments in running.

He is running Marathon number 30 this coming Saturday. Its the Mesa Falls Marathon in Ashton, ID. It is such a gorgeous area, that it will be a neat marathon for him to run. I am seriously considering doing the half marathon. I am not as trained up as I once was (due to health problems), but I think I can do it. I will for sure be the last half marathoner to finish, so that's going to be hard to swallow, but I feel like I will be kicking myself if I miss it. I would love for that race to be my first half marathon. It is small, beautiful scenery, and best of all... they don't close the course until every runner has come across. So yeah.... I will probably do it.... and I am - quite frankly - scared to death. I guess it will be an adventure.